You Drive Me Crazy!
by daviderl31
Summary: Alternative ending to the episode Wedding Bell Blues. Luke punches out Christopher, breaking his nose, and is arrested. Lorelai must choose between Luke and Christopher in court.


**You Drive Me Crazy!**

13 Feb 2005

**What came before_ - Emily and Richard are renewing their wedding vows. Lorelai is Emily's Matron of Honor and Rory is Richard's "Best Man." Emily has invited Christopher, hoping he can win Lorelai away from Luke, also in attendance. Luke and Christopher argue over Lorelai. When Christopher tells Luke that Lorelai is destined to be with him, not Luke, with Emily's blessing, Luke has had enough._**

**1**

"I've gotta get out of here." Luke said.

"Luke, wait!" Lorelai pleaded.

As she started after him, Christopher grabbed her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"After Luke." Lorelai replied, trying to follow him.

"Lorelai, stop! We belong together, you know that."

"No, Christopher, I don't!"

Before Lorelai could leave, Christopher grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, kissing her.

Lorelai struggled to get away, as he kissed her a second time.

"Christopher! Stop it, dammit. Stop it!"

But instead of stopping, Christopher pushed her up against a wall, and pressing himself against her, kissed her again, harder this time.

Lorelai was just about to knee Christopher in the groin when she saw Luke pulling him away from her, and before she could yell for him not to, Luke punched Christopher in the face, knocking him to the floor, and breaking his nose.

Within seconds, blood had soaked the front of Christopher's shirt as he held his hand to his face.

"You bastard son of a **bitch**!" Christopher yelled up at Luke. "You broke my nose!"

At that moment, Lorelai's cousin, Marilyn, rounded the corner, looking for Lorelai so pictures of the wedding party could be taken. But when she saw Christopher on the floor, she turned around and ran back into the reception hall, yelling to anyone who would listen.

Fifteen minutes later, Luke had been arrested despite Lorelai unsuccessfully trying to explain what happened.

But it was a losing battle. Among the wedding guests were several prominent Hartford judges and attorneys who were good friends of the elder Gilmores.

Before Lorelai knew what was happening, it was decided that the very next morning Luke would face one of the judges in court on the charge of aggravated battery.

**2**

Lorelai was at the courthouse early, trying to get into to see the judge. Eventually, she did.She tried as hard as she could to make him understand the situation. But the fact that they all had been drinking, and the emotional relationship between Lorelai and Luke, and the unresolved relationship Lorelai had with Christopher, fell on deaf ears.

Then she was hit with the bombshell - in order for Luke not to go to jail for probably thirty to sixty days, Lorelai would have to testify that she felt threatened by Christopher's actions, and he would then be charged with attempted sexual assault, which meant a possible prison term of up to five years.

Two hours later Lorelai was on the witness stand.

"Miss Gilmore," the prosecuting attorney said, "You claim that it was all a misunderstanding, is that correct?"

"Yes!" Lorelai started to say, but was then cut off.

"So, you are saying that you didn't feel threatened in any way when Mr. Hayden was kissing you?"

"Well, I didn't expect it, so, of course, I was struggling to get away. And that's when Luke, Mr. Danes, came to my rescue, and in the heat of the moment he … he hit Christopher, Mr. Hayden. But it was a complete misunderstanding."

"So, when Mr. Danes hit Mr. Hayden, breaking his nose, and knocking him to the floor, it wasn't because you were in any danger, but, rather, it was the action of a self-appointed bullying vigilante?"

"No! You're twisting it all around!"

Then the judge spoke up.

"Miss Gilmore, just answer the question 'Yes' or 'No' - Did you, or did you not feel threatened by Mr. Hayden?"

Lorelai glanced over at Luke. He was staring at her, and the expression on his face was telling her that he already knew what she would say.

She looked at Christopher. His nose had a large bandage over it, but even so, she could see the confidence on his face.

Lorelai dropped her head as she answered.

"Speak up, Miss Gilmore."

Lorelai could feel her eyes moisten and her vision got a little blurry.

"I said no, I did not feel threatened by Mr. Hayden."

Lorelai looked at Luke again, but he was staring straight ahead. She was glad he wasn't looking at her. She could see the expression on his face - anger, disappointment, and possibly . . . loathing?

She looked at Christopher. He was smiling broadly - a smarmy, nauseating grin. He had won.

Lorelai knew that she had never hated anyone so much as she did Christopher at that moment.

"Miss Gilmore!" The judge said.

"What?"

"I said you're excused."

Lorelai left the witness stand, and the courtroom, in tears.

**3**

Lorelai had no recollection of the drive back to Stars Hollow. She didn't remember going home and lying down on Rory's bed.

The phone rang several hours later, wakening her up; she had cried herself to sleep.

"Mom." It was Rory. "Are you all right?"

"No, I'm not. Oh, Rory, I'm so ashamed of what I did to Luke, but I couldn't let your dad go to prison, not for five long years. Now Luke's going to spend the next two months in jail. He doesn't deserve that!"

"No, it's not that bad. I just talked to Grandpa. Luke's lawyer talked the judge into fining him 10,000 and only ten days in jail, not thirty."

"How did he do that?"

"Well, Luke's never been in any trouble. It was his first offense. And he's a prominent businessman and life-long resident of Stars Hollow."

"Thank God for that! Rory, do you think you come home tonight? I really don't want to be alone."

"Well, I do have an eight o'clock class tomorrow morning, but if you make sure I'm up in time, of course I'll come home."

"Thanks, Sweetie. You don't know how much that means to me."

"Don't worry, Mom, it'll be all right."

**4**

But things weren't all right. During the ten days Luke was in jail, the diner stayed closed. And the regular Stars Hollow lunch crowd stopped coming to the Dragonfly. There were so few customers, if it hadn't been for the guests, Lorelai would have canceled lunch altogether. The first time she went into Doose's Market, Taylor Doose informed her that he didn't want her business and she could go somewhere else to shop.

Anyone seeing her walking toward them would cross the street rather than pass by her.

No one would speak to her - not Miss Patty, not Kirk, Mrs. Kim, the Town Troubadour, no one.

Even Babbette would go inside when she saw her.

The only ones who would talk to her were Lane, Michel, who didn't like Luke anyway, and Sookie.

Lorelai was forced to have a full staff meeting and had to threaten everyone with their jobs if they persisted in gossiping about the situation.

She kept track of the days, and on the eleventh day, Lorelai drove by the diner. It was packed. Everyone was there, all showing their love and support for Luke.

Through her tears, Lorelai was happy for him.

Two more days passed before she went to see him, waiting until three in the afternoon, between the lunch and supper rushes.

The diner was still almost half full, but as soon as she walked in there was dead silence.

Lorelai walked directly to the counter where Luke was. The look on his face was anything but welcoming.

"Luke, can we talk?

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is. Please, I need you to understand why I . . . ."

"I don't need to understand anything. Everything I need to know I found out in that courtroom."

"I couldn't let him go to prison."

"You're breakin' my heart!"

"But he's Rory's DAD!"

"NO! This isn't about Rory's dad! It's about me and you and him! Oh, wait, my mistake! It's about you and him!"

"No, Luke, you're wrong! Christopher is gone! Forever. I even threatened him with a restraining order!"

"You need to leave, Lorelai. You're not welcome here. We're finished. You know where the door is, use it!"

When Luke turned away from her, Lorelai couldn't breathe. She felt as if she had been hit in the stomach.

She slowly turned and walked out. She didn't know who, but someone opened the door for her, and she vaguely remembered them saying, "Don't come back."

5

As soon as she got home, Lorelai called Rory.

"I went to see Luke."

"What did he say?"

"That we're finished, and not to come back. I'm not welcomed there."

"Mom, I'm so sorry. Look, I've got this thing at the paper, then I'm through for the weekend. I'll be home as soon as I can. We can do something."

"You're not going to your grandparents?"

"No. I told Grandma that I thought maybe the Friday-night dinners should be postponed for a while. I told her that right now you need me more than they do."

"Thanks, Babe. Drive safely."

It was almost nine o'clock when Rory got to Stars Hollow. She slowly drove past the diner. There were only a few people inside. She circled the block and parked outside. She had to talk to Luke.

Luke had seen her, and was waiting at the counter.

"Coffee?"

"No thanks. I want to talk to you, about Mom."

"Did she send you?"

"No, she doesn't know I'm here. I just got in from Hartford. Luke, you know she didn't do what she did to hurt you or to betray you. She loves you too much to do that!"

"Rory, you know you're welcome here anytime, and we'll talk about anything you want, except that."

"No. If Mom's not welcome here, then I'm not welcome here."

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Goodbye, Luke."

Watching Rory leave, Luke tried unsuccessfully to swallow the lump in his throat.

Rory tried everything she could think of to try to cheer her mother up, but nothing was working. They ended up falling asleep on the couch together, the television on, but not watching anything.

Saturday morning Rory volunteered to go for shopping for Lorelai at Doose's. There was almost no coffee in the house. She also picked up Pop Tarts, Cheetos, several bags of candy, and some microwave popcorn, and microwave mac and cheese.

Sunday was not much better. The laundry got done, and they cleaned house.

Monday morning, Rory went back to Yale.

6

As the week passed, the lunch crowd slowly trickled back to the Dragonfly. Luke's was open, he seemed to be okay, and they missed Sookie's cooking. A few people started speaking to Lorelai, and Doose let her shop at his market again.

Saturday morning Rory was coming home, but as she passed the diner, she saw a small crowd of people gathered in front. There was an anxious buzz going through them.

"What's going on?" Rory asked.

"Look," someone said and moved aside so she could see. Her mouth fell open.

"Oh no. Oh, NO!"

She immediately gunned her car and raced to the Dragonfly.

"MOM! MOM!" she yelled as she ran into the inn.

"What? What? I'm here!"

"I was just by the diner. There's a For Sale sign up in the window! Luke's selling the diner!"

"What? Are you sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure! I saw the sign with my own eyes."

Lorelai was strangely quiet, and got an odd look on her face.

"Hon, can I borrow your car? There's something I have to do."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, this shouldn't take long."

"Okay. The key's in the ignition."

7

Lorelai drove straight to Luke's and parked right in front. The crowd parted to let her go in, then crowded against the window, envious of those already inside. The word was spreading that there was going to be a confrontation between Lorelai and Luke. People were starting to gather.

Lorelai marched to the end of the counter, almost going behind it.

"We have to talk," she said.

"No we don't. Everything's already been said."

"This isn't personal, it's business."

Luke put down the pad and moved closer to her and crossed his arms.

"What kind of business?"

"I want to put in a bid on the diner."

"What?"

"I want to buy the diner."

"You're barely getting by with the Dragonfly, why would you want to buy this place?"

"I'm branching out. What's your asking price?"

Luke hesitated, he hadn't thought about that.

"Two hundred and fifty thousand."

"That's too high. I'll give you seventy-five."

"You're out of you mind! I paid a hundred thousand for the building next door, and there was nothing in it!"

"That's because you didn't know how to negotiate. All right, eighty thousand."

"You heard me, two hundred and fifty thousand dollars."

"That's not how you do it."

"Do what?"

"Negotiate. You go high, I go low, and we meet in the middle. I've upped my bid, now you have to come down."

"Fine, two hundred and forty-nine thousand."

"You're not doing it right. I went up five thousand, you have to come down five thousand."

"Who are you to tell me how much I have to come down?"

"You're not selling this place are you?"

"What are you taking about? Of course I'm selling it. Didn't you see the sign?"

"You have no intention of selling it. You're just doing this to get back at me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Things are starting to get back like they were. Customers are coming back to the inn, people are talking to me again, and you can't stand it, so you put up that sign to get everyone pissed off at me again."

"You're crazy!"

"So who else have you had offers from?"

"That's none of your business."

"Taylor? Because he's the only one I know who has any money."

"Taylor? Not hardly! It kills me to sell him a cup of coffee!"

"Then who? And where are you going to live, by the way?"

"I don't have to tell you that."

"You won't be living upstairs anymore, so where?"

"I don't know, maybe I'll move to Waterbury."

"What's in Waterbury?"

"I don't know. It just sounds like a place I might like to live. What business is it of yours, anyway?"

"After I buy this place I may need to find you to see what you're going to do about the termites, or the rats."

"I don't have termites! Or rats!"

"You're not selling this place, are you?"

"Look at the sign!"

Lorelai grabbed Luke by the lapel and pulled him closer to her.

"I want you to look me right in the eye and tell me you're selling this diner, your father's hardware store, and you're moving to Waterbury."

Luke looked into her eyes and realized he had forgotten, had blocked out the fact, that Lorelai Gilmore had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen in his entire life. He was totally speechless.

"Well?" Lorelai insisted. "Say it!"

The spell was broken.

Luke tried to answer her, but couldn't.

"Ah, JEEZ!" he exclaimed, then stomped over to the window, took the For Sale out of it, and tore it into pieces on his way back to Lorelai.

"OKAY! I'm not selling the diner, and I'm not moving to Waterbury! Are you happy now?"

Lorelai flashed him the most gorgeous, most loving smile she had.

"Oh, yes!" she said as she took his face in her hands. "Very happy."

"You drive me crazy!" Was all he could think of to say.

"I know," Lorelai replied as she move closer to him. "That's why you love me."

And she kissed him.

As their arms encircled each other, and as their kisses became longer and more passionate, they both were completely oblivious to the cheer of the crowd inside and outside of the diner.

Within minutes the word had spread throughout Stars Hollow, to the Dragonfly Inn, and to an overjoyed Sookie and an ecstatic Rory - Lorelai and Luke were back together again, and things were just like they were supposed to be.

For now.


End file.
